The Results You Want
I read the other day that the three basic fundamental emotional needs for humans are:
To be seen
To be heard
To be celebrated
Do you agree?
As you may know, I coach a lot of Empty Nester moms. The empty nest can be a time where all three of those needs are suddenly absent. This can create another layer of emptiness in a very tender time.
It can be comforting to know that an empty nest is a parent doing their job. Bringing young people up to navigate this world independently is quite an accomplishment. For both parent and child. So why do many moms feel so depleted when they achieve this accomplishment? For many their identity went out the door with their child. So common, so natural, so temporary!
It’s important to start where you are. Without judgment we acknowledge the “barometer shift” in their life and home. We talk a lot about new ideas, outlets and sources of purpose and fulfillment. We also talk plenty about contribution and validation (tell me you recognize The BIg Four?) Then, with our eyes focused on the future and not a void or emptiness, we get to work.
Whether it’s empty nest, feeling generally stuck, or other life transition, I take clients through a process to orient them to possibilities and forward thinking. The first step is to really know what it is you want. Not only WHAT you want, but WHY you want it (hint: the WHY is usually missing when we quit, procrastinate, or get off track. Being tied to the WHY keeps us focussed on the process so much more easily.) A few weeks ago I shared my “why” in a column, find it here.
Once we get WHAT and WHY identified, it’s important to understand the three necessary steps to move forward:
Massive action creates results.
Your emotions determine your actions.
Your thoughts create your emotions.
So it’s not a big stretch to see the relationship between thoughts and results.
I put together a program just for that. A toolkit for “doing” (see #1 above.) Actionable concepts to create a life you love. And the very best part? You will use these skills well after our coaching is complete in many other aspects of your life.
Curious about what coaching is all about? Find me here.
Here’s what my client had to say:
“Working with Anne has been a wonderful experience! She has such a loving and judgment-free energy that makes it easier for me to open up. She has helped me see the ways that I was being mean to myself and change my negative self-talk into thoughts that serve me. I have come away from our coaching sessions with new perspectives that I continue to benefit from.”-C.W., Denver, Colo
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