She’s Still Here!
That’s me in kindergarten (mom trimmed my bangs!)
Ah, to be five years old (luckily we lived next to an orthodontist!) I loved being five. I loved kindergarten, and my kindergarten teacher Mrs. Van. That happy little girl is still in my heart. Plenty awkward, loves to laugh. Open, interested, innocent and fearless.
Fast forward a few decades, where is she? It’s interesting what time can do to those lovely beings. I have by no means had a life of struggle or particular hardship… I have had days though! But I notice and find it interesting that I continually see the easy affluence retreat. For example, I realize I have trouble taking credit for my accomplishments.
There’s a hip term bandied around these days “imposter syndrome.” It’s where accomplishments are swept under the rug. It goes something like this:
Friend: “Wow, you’ve started your own coaching business, that’s amazing"
Five year old me would giggle with joy and say, “I know!! This is just the best!!’
Adult me would say : “It’s not really that big of a deal, I’ve been lucky.”
Would I say that if the compliment was going to my sweet 5 year old self? Would you stand by and let someone discount the accomplishments of a youngster? Would I talk to her that way? I’d never say that to her, nor allow anyone else to talk that way to her. So why would I say it to myself?
I attended a mastermind event earlier this year. One of the speakers said she also had a habit of discounting her accomplishments (crazy because this gal is inspiringly successful and I am not just talking about revenue.) Then she brought out her photo at an early age. She was adorable! She then asked, “Would I talk to her the way I am discounting myself now?” Never. Would I ever allow anyone else to discount her? Oh heck no!
We can clearly show compassion and offer allowances to the five year old version, but not now? As the kids say, “that’s messed up.” In my case she’s the same person. Holding her in my heart, having compassion for her as she navigates the world not only as a kindergartner but as a grown woman is such a gift.
It’s a whisper that says,
“We are doing the best we can. I’m proud of you, keep going. ”
Let that sink in.
So find a photo of young you. Hit reply and attach it for me cuz I’m sure your adorable. Put it by your desk, as I have. Ask yourself, “would I allow these sentences to be delivered to her/him?”
Great work gets done when the messaging is right. You’ve got this, you’ve always had. Wouldn’t it be so great to have your biggest fan whispering in your ear all day? That’s available for you.
P.S. The school photographer nicknamed me “Bubbles” that day. Thank goodness it didn’t stick!
This from a client:
"Anne is a kind, direct and incredibly wise coach. She is a thoughtful listener who can help with the big picture.
I was having challenges with some relationships at work and Anne helped me to see areas that I hadn’t considered. I am now able to recognize some old stories and interrupt them to gain a clearer perspective. It’s so helpful to be able to reframe my thinking." - KK
Grateful for you,
Anne