Sabotage, What Could Go Wrong?
Sabotage is a really loaded word. For me it has arrows and barbs. I associate it with an organized plan to upset or undermine something or someone. Never a good thing that’s for sure.
So why do we insist on being our own saboteur? By that I mean thinking those critical thoughts that limit our ability to strive and grow. Simply put, how you talk to yourself can be the difference between confidence and insecurity, hope and despair. “She's her own worst enemy” ever hear that one? I call it your story to yourself, about yourself.
Any of these gems sound familiar?
If they knew the real me, they wouldn't like me.
I am not enough, never have been.
I am not worthy, but if I worked a little harder.
What will other people think?
Good things just don’t happen for me, other people are lucky not me.
I don’t dare to dream, it’ll never happen for me anyway.
Who do I think I am?
I need to force a smile so people think I’m happy and want to be around me.
What makes it worse is that we think those thoughts on the regular. They become automatic/default thoughts and we no longer question them URGH!!!
Would you talk to your bestie like that? What makes you think it’s allowable for you to talk to yourself like that? These berating thoughts coming from your inner “meanie” or saboteur are meant to protect you. It’s what the primal brain is wired to do. Save us from disappointment, failure, heartbreak, saber- toothed tiger. Our original wiring can be obsolete.
Here’s the thing, while I concede emotional and physical safety is important, so is the fullness of embracing risk and perhaps failure. Stepping into the challenges brings way more growth and wellbeing instead of bracing for certain impact (sabotage) .
So maybe work on a plan to put yourself into those situations where you need to step up in a new way. Start with stepping up for yourself. It’s the best work you will ever do. Tell your saboteur to hush up because you are now choosing to think:
I am made for this
This is going to be fun
I am bright and can figure anything out
Win or lose I’ll be better for having tried
At times I’m a hot mess at times, and also pretty amazing
What’s the worst that can happen? [insert negative emotion], I’m not afraid of it.
I got this
I’m a great example of courage and humility
Do not waste any more time or energy on those completely random and optional thoughts that have NO BUSINESS telling you what to do. I help clients get the upper hand on that talk trak. We discover it, dismantle it, and create a much better and more fun space. It’s so much easier when you have your own back. You In?