Relationship Hygiene

I was writing recently for my social media post (are you getting those? Find me on Instagram below, I'm hysterical!) about the concept of “relationship hygiene.”

I was making the point about how we care for the people in our lives. I maintain that hygiene isn't just for skin care. There's an element of hygiene in your relationships too.

Toxic? Lazy? Fulfilling? Thoughtful? Taken for granted?

I always find it so enjoyable when my husband and I are with friends, and they speak to each other with such respect. Listening to each other contribute to the exchange  as though they were just getting to know one another. Attentive and interested. 

On the other hand when there is a dismissive tone, or constant interruptions and corrections, I will get very uncomfortable, and look for a chance to leave the conversation (also, but not related,  if they are more funny and than I am…I’m outta there!)

Seriously though, I began to think about our relationships with others, as a reflection of how we are tending to the relationship with ourselves.  Are you tending to this one? I think the extension to others comes from the core connection and value we have for ourselves. 

For example,  I  may notice an area that is impeccably curated (a person who is very carefully dressed and groomed.) And yet their car is a complete disaster, unkept, trash, food wrappers everywhere, shoes, receipts, bags, strewn about. So much so, that  you must clear a space before getting into the car.

There’s a disconnect.  A contrary message here.  

"The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for your relationship with your child, your spouse, your parents, your friends- every relationship you have. Invest in yourself so you can invest in them." - Erica Layne

I can remember as a child when we had “company”. Maybe you can relate. The best dishes were used, and everything had an up-leveled element. It was a genuine effort to show respect and be a gracious host. 

But  when you are alone, ask yourself, are you saving your best for “the company?”  Are you providing the highest and best efforts for others, and yet when it comes to yourself  are you serving up the “leftovers.”  After all no one's looking right?

That's where your wrong. How you talk to yourself in those quiet private moments speaks SO LOUDLY,  and even if we are not in that conversation, we get the message. As grandma used to say, “your slip is showing.”

Be onto yourself. Be intentional in your relationships. Tend ALL of them with respect and dignity.  

AND begin with yourself! It's the truest indicator of how you value connection. And you show up as someone who is aligned and can be trusted to engage in a relationship with integrity. 

I hope you have those in your life. I am so thankful for the ones I enjoy!

“Self-care is giving the world the  best of you, instead of what’s left of you.” - Katie Red

Begin today, I have a process that helps you create  quality relationships and rich and  purposeful contributions going forward. Start  here.