For Dad on Father’s Day

Last year I wrote a heartfelt piece about my own dad. Find it here.

As I grow older (quicker than I like) I grow more understanding of what was.  Maybe it’s because as I age I can see dad’s viewpoint? He passed away nine years ago, so I am nine years closer to his age. My family is nine years further along. We are nine years closer to retirement. My knees are nine years more creaky!

While perhaps time has mellowed my reflections, I am so thankful I have learned the perspective that coaching has taught me.  I realize I can change my relationship with dad, even though he is now gone. 

Our relationships only exist in our current thoughts. So while we had our ups and downs, laughter and tears in the past, they only now live in what I chose to make them mean for me now.  Here is what I've decided, in a letter to him and it feels right.

Dear Dad (I called him Papa Bob),

It’s once again Father's Day weekend, and I hope you are on a boat somewhere in heaven. I know your beloved  boat, The Lummi II, was your happy place. Maybe they have a replica for you there?

Thank you. 

Thank you for providing for me as your child. As I've grown up I realize so many children are not so lucky.

Thank you for sharing the pride you had as a Navy Veteran, and for your service to our country. 

Thank you for showing me what hard work was. I learned doing hard things is necessary and right.

Thank you for loving Momma so completely. Given your difficult childhood I don’t think love came easily to you. Thanks for making that effort. We always said you married “up”  when you married Betty Buckley. It’s true and you never forgot that.

Thank you for believing in the value of education and providing me with a college education to make my way in this life.

For waiting outside the delivery room when my sons were born, for showing me how to say goodbye to our older generations,  and your devotion to them.

Daddy, I call on those and many other lessons often these days, and because of you, I am not lost. I know what to do. Gifts from a  wonderful father. You did a good job.

Please kiss momma for me, and have a Happy Heavenly Father’s Day,

Love.

Anne Cecilia

Is there someone who might appreciate your letter? Living or not, framing your mind around the relationship you want to have will change it forever. Your story isn't over. I can help you with it. Find me here.

GRATEFUL FOR YOU,

Anne