When We Say Goodbye

You have often heard me say that life has its “seasons.” 

Some are new and exciting, others are difficult and heavy.

As I write this our family has a member in hospice care. We are in a heavy season.  

He is a bright, gentle, funny,  patient, accepting, engaging, forgiving, caring, respected, curious, loving human.

Last month we celebrated his 97th birthday with a twinkle in his eye, so happy to be with his beloved children, and now his time is here.

97 years is a good run, right? And he lived so fully. So why then is this a heavy season? After all this is the order of things (if we're lucky.) By that I mean he never outlived his spouse or children or (heaven-forbid) grandchildren, and not everyone gets that.  He met his wife when he was 17, that’s 80 years of love and friendship. So again I ask, Why is this a heavy season?

I think it’s heavy because of the very best reason. It’s heavy because he is so cherished. He did it right. He leaves us so much better for having known and loved him.  But the thought of tomorrows without him are painful, even though they are shrouded in abiding gratitude and admiration. He quietly loved us so  well. Oh and he would not like all this fuss about him either!

My  wish for you is that you recognize what season you are in heavy or light. Embrace it fully, live it, learn from it. If you need to, make the changes you know are needed. If you are paying attention, these seasons leave clues.

This is our heavy season for now. It’s familiar, we have walked this ground before, and we will be here again.  I am just so grateful. Grateful that I have this season to hold in my heart, which by comparison enriches all of the other ones. It's his final gift, I think he’d like that. A proper goodbye.

This weekend is Father’s Day (gulp). We will toast you Johngi (with a teary eye) and wish you a Happy heavenly Father’s Day. Thank you for your wonderful example. We will love you always. 

“To live in the hearts of those we love is never to die”  – Hazel Gaynor