Missing the Moments that Matter
Missing the moments that matter.
Is that just the saddest thought? Makes you kind of want a do-over right?
To miss the moments that actually matter in your life? It’s sad because of the missed potential, and so unnecessary.
I’ve noticed this, (and done this!) When we miss a moment that matters, there is usually some aspect of the following;
Too caught up in “doing” to prove your worthiness
Wishing things were different
Not feeling a connection to the event / person / yourself
Thinking too much about yourself or appearance (shy people tend to do this)
Remaining in a “safe” zone, being socially “hygienic”
Judging the moment against a “perfection” mindset
Not realizing the importance at the time. Not tuned in
Not “enoughness”
Distracted by a thought that came from a misunderstanding?
Stories about any of it
All of these examples, left unchecked, will lead to burn out, anxiety, overwhelm, frustration, and unworthiness.
In short, when these emotions exist, you are not available for any of it. You have, in effect, left the event before you arrived.
Truth bomb: When you are really showing up, really engaged, it’s because there is a very strong connection. Connection to others but more importantly an authentic connection and responsibility to yourself.
Authentic communication is the foundation to any relationship. When we speak the truth we open the door to strong healthy relationships, beginning with the connection to you. But that also brings some vulnerability.
“Intimacy deepens through honesty. Withholding truth builds internal walls. Walls trigger our defense patterns. Defense leads to disconnection.” -Cory Muscara
It’s tempting to avoid difficult circumstances or difficult conversations. Instead, becoming a version of yourself you create because you think that’s what others want to see means you are hiding and choosing the “easy route.” And the only one lost on that route is you.
And it’s actually NOT easy, when you are missing the moments in your life that matter, and may never come your way again. And let’s be honest (it’s just us two!) you can easily pick that out in others..
“IF she’d only read this book, do this work, go to the doctor, listen this podcast, lose the weight, stop being a victim, stand up for herself,” you can fill in the blank. Not so easy in the mirror.
So what to do? In her book Radical Acceptance Tara Brock tells us that by cherishing oneself and practicing acceptance you can transform your life. From that place you are open and can also accept the world as it is. No bitterness, no resentment.
Brock coined the acronym RAIN:
Recognize. What are the thoughts that are creating disconnection?
Allow. Let it be whatever it is, without the resistance / judgement.
Investigate. Look at the experience with curiosity and kindness.
Nurture. Be compassionate to the parts of ourselves that are hurting.
Why bother? Because joy and fulfillment are found in the present moment, not caught up in the past and regret. And yes, being more sensitive to pleasure also means we are more aware of pain. There is nothing wrong with that. It’s the beautiful cost of actually being IN it.
The reverse is also true, when you dull the pain, you also dull the ability to feel joy.
Ready to fully show up? Show up for the people you care for, and more importantly show up for this one beautiful life you have. Lean into your greatest potential, I promise you will surprise yourself in the best way.
“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” -C.S. Lewis
Contact me to learn about the ways we can work together and we can have a personal chat. I have a process to get the conversation started and productive.
You got this, (ask me how I know!)