Let’s Talk Politics
Did I scare ya? Sorry I didn't mean to. I’ve been noodling this idea for a column for a while.
If I’m honest, I don’t want to talk politics in this forum, but here, with you, there is something more compelling to consider.
What I really want to explore is our behavior regarding politics and the reason for it …it’s a compelling study. Stay with me.
Civil discourse. Respect. Tribalism. Curiosity. Contention. Judgment. Hope. Disappointment. I'm sure you’ve felt all of it. I know I have. Now we’re talking! What???
Regardless of where you land on our political landscape, I find the juicy bits to be the way I have witnessed our basic human brain process dissension and yes, FEAR. And, I understand it.
Here’s the thing, our primal brain is hardwired to resist fear and conflict. It’s all about survival. So when fear and conflict are introduced our brain will rail against it, because there is survival at stake. It's 100% biology. And believe me, the people delivering this messaging know this.
On the national stage, and in some living rooms, dinner tables, and gatherings, the sad common message is a form of all or nothing thinking. “You can agree with me or be wrong.” People are losing friendships, and life-long relationships, family members are estranged. It’s heartbreaking. Until you comprehend why.
Resist, React, Avoid.
It’s the primal human response. It’s how your brain is wired to protect you. And….I find this the good news!
Good news because understanding that our primal brain is all about survival, offers some insight. lt doesn’t distinguish between the threat from mistakenly walking in front of a speeding vehicle, or the contrary messaging available on every platform and media channel. Just this knowledge can in fact open up some real space for growth and observation. The nuanced skill of the pause (Viktor Frankl) to learn and practice helpful and respectful thinking and dialogue. Yes, you have a choice.
Here’s where I see many have missed the point: The privilege of the conversation and debate is in fact the blessing. Read that again! Our privilege to discuss ideas and perspectives is in fact the blessing. Not everyone gets that gift. And we are losing valued relationships over that conversation???
A quick departure: My husband and I are on the “wedding circuit” this year, attending multiple weddings. Each celebration is unique to the couple and their traditions. The families and friends come together as varied as the stars in the sky. I am walking with them, loving them, and offering my witness to this day, and to the future.
What does this have to do with politics and our brains' response? The power of an attitude. It's gratitude. In the midst of all of this condescension, I choose gratitude, I am positive about the future. While I agree there are big, big issues, (look at history my friend, there have always been big, big issues, and we are up for it!) I am struck by the confidence and the brilliance of these upcoming young people, who I consider our future.
I admit, I am not always great at it. But I know the “knee-jerk“ reaction of my unmanaged mind is to deliver gloom and certain doom. (think running with scissors.)
So, I opt to supervise it carefully. It’s how I choose to be optimistic, involved and thankful. Yes, it’s a choice you also have. And I know that gratitude and fear cannot exist together. Yup read that one again, that gem applies to MANY struggles.
So when these days get “cringy” for you, I encourage you to clean your side of the sidewalk (because really, that’s all you have control over.) Thank your brain for sounding the “danger danger” alarm and ask:
What else could be true here?
Who do I want to be in this situation?
What am I making this mean?
What does a loving person do?
I am open to the idea that we don’t need to agree, but value each other regardless.
“Why bother? Because right now, there is someone out there with a wound that is in the exact shape of your (healing) words.” -Sean Thomas Doughterty
My wish for you and I is to navigate these coming months with grace and respect. May it indeed be so.
Tell, me how do you navigate these waters?