Just Getting By?
“How ya getting by these days?” When people extend that greeting, I’m guessing they are wanting to connect, but it’s a terrible question.
Getting by, really? Is that the best we can come up with? I realize there are those times when just putting one foot in front of the other is an accomplishment. Hard times, transitional ones, caring for elderly family members, illness, I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about you and your awareness about the way you navigate your world.
I was right there with “ya”. I used to think of events, plans and doings as items to get through. Doesn’t THAT sound like a bucket of fun, getting through? You see I had an idea in my mind how I thought things should go, and tried hard to create that outcome for myself and others. It was a lot to pile onto just the event. Doesn’t leave a lot of upside for a spontaneous delight does it?
When my oldest child went away to college it hit me. I might have been “getting through” so intently that I forgot to enjoy the time I had to raise my son. Those memories, challenges, most loved times in those days, was I just getting through them? And now they were gone? That was a very sad thought.
I had to look at it very frankly, and I decided that while there was indeed too much “getting through” I also dearly hoped I had done my job to prepare him for this next step. Hoping he had the tools he would need. I also managed a bunch of gratitude and enjoyment too. Now I encounter each stage of my life with enjoyment for the possibilities it brings. I had to feel that way to become a Life Coach at age 60!
I no longer “get through” events, I enjoy them for whatever it brings. I now know that there are so many aspects of promise and potential that get left at the door if we just “get through”. I focus on thrive rather than survive.
So what are you telling yourself you are getting through right now? News headlines? Retirement? Relationship rough patch? These are all part of the life experience, and I don’t believe we are meant to just “get through” our lives. Rough patches and all. Heck sometimes the rough patches are where all the upside is!
Being fully into all the moments helps you show up in a way that affords grace and clarity. “Getting through” tolerating, pushing till the end, leaves you worn out, and depleted.
So what’s the alternative?
Interrupt the “getting through” thought. It could be a lie.
Ask yourself what else could be true here?
Tell yourself “maybe not?”
Accept that possibilities are available to you, and these events might be just what you need to get there.
Be open to the answers coming in a way you hadn’t anticipated.
And forget regret, it gets you nowhere.
“I never look back darling, it distracts from the now.” Edna Mode, The Incredibles.
Then go about showing up for all the things in your life, KNOWING it’s all part of the ride and nothing has gone wrong.
Hit reply and share with me something you have been “getting through”, together we can find a perspective that takes the thorns out of it for you.
Grateful For You,
Anne